What am I Most Looking Forward to in Life?

This should make about perfect sense to anyone at all acquainted with me.

(more information for the 1 to 2 people who actually care)

Here is an Illustration

Which was inspired by the last eight words in the following sentence:

Man on motorcycle with pilot goggles opens enormous coat to reveal enough lit explosives to destroy the Entire West.

Logically, the sentence was inspired by the poster for this movie which is hopefully awesome. Anyway, here:

What Is the Weather Doing Right Now (Special Video Edition)

These days it takes a lot of water to get me blogging.

It is Fathers' Day

So here:

What did We Find at the Airport?

It is too much for words, so I am not going to try to use them to describe the majesty. Please, behold:








Alright, take a moment to really absorb what's depicted above.

Okay. There are a number things worth noting, and a few questions:

• A cactus with sunglasses appears on every completed page
• The cactus with sunglasses is not the narrator
• The credited author is Willowbelly Conbreast. Willowbelly Conbreast!
• The Gliding Spider Wheelchair: organic or not?
• While obviously incomplete, the book is stapled and numbers 30 pages
• What is the significance of the Canoe Ride?
• In the first non-cover illustration the narrator appears to be holding open his coat, which contains scissors, a hammer, and an unidentified object that could be either wrenches or a plasma lamp.

I encourage any and all readers to share their thoughts/speculations/reactions about/regarding/to this remarkable find. Thank you. YOU'RE WELCOME


p.s. - or - I can't stop thinking about this.

We googled everything in this text - Willowbelly Conbreast, gliding-spider-wheelchairs, hidden shows at bonfires, Eh·o'nites, canoe ride uncertainty - all to no avail. We picked apart every page looking for clues, debating aspects of every illustration, and questioning the motives and reliability of our narrator. I know that this story has remarkable potential, and I hope that by some internet miracle we are able to establish contact with Mr. or Ms Conbreast. If such hopes go unfulfilled, however, can I in good conscience continue what has been started?

More Evidence of My Brother's Existence

Listen: My brother has graduated law school, and in honor of the occasion I went to New York and sat through the reading of a number of names. Photographs were also taken. This is one of the few instances in which my brother is not making a terrible face in a family picture. I know that in the past the existence of my brother has come under a lot of scrutiny and skepticism, and I hope that any readers' lingering doubts are finally put to rest.

In other news, This is what my extended family looks like, in case you were super curious, and this guy's dad made a really excellent speech.

I am on a Bus with The Internet

The Mind Boggles.

It is going to New York though, so it's far from perfect.