Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What is The Weather Doing Right Now #7

It is windy outside right now, and it is Cold. It was warm earlier today, but we all knew that we wouldn't get away with it. Listen: just don't go out there for awhile, it's all just shit and garbage. Stay indoors and wear thick socks and headphones and timepieces, maybe curl up with some terrible news stories.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Here is How Thanksgiving Went

If you’re wondering where I’ve been in the two plus weeks it’s been since I last transmitted Information I can finally tell you: I was on hiatus. This hiatus was special because it was a secret hiatus, and only I knew about it, and only I will ever know the reasons behind its existence. You should not trouble yourself with curiosities regarding those reasons and My Situations in general because such endeavors are pointless and boring.

This Thursday last saw another occurrence of the holiday known to most as Thanksgiving (and known to certain characters from films from true stories as Pranksgiving*), and as is the Donovan Family Tradition we did all we could to not make much of it. The holiday was notable this year for being (I think) the first time all 4 members of the immediate family were not present. My brother (of whose existence I must once again remind and assure you) allegedly spent the holiday in Maine with Some Lady, whose existence I am willing to put up for debate (see what I did there?). Despite this, my parents (whose love for one another becomes less detectable every day) and I did all we could to spend the hallowed day watching things and eating things. The curious reader will ask “what did you watch?” and the reader who is unfamiliar with me and my Ways will ask “what did you eat?” I can answer both of these questions succinctly: “No Country for Old Men,” and “turkey and some biscuits and that’s about it,” respectively. Had I the energy to regale you with reviews of No Country… as well as the other films I’ve seen in the past two weeks I would, but instead I will tell you, in the unlikely event that you didn’t already know, that the Coen brother’s new movie is the best thing you’ll see this year and deserves to win Best Everything. I know how prone I am to superlatives and hyperbole (superbole? get it? Is this pun good or awful?), but this time I am not exaggerating. Honestly. On the opposite end of things, if you’re interested in reading about the worst movie of 2007 you can go here to read a review written mostly by me and credited entirely to someone else for reasons that are not worth going into.

I am almost certain that other things happened, but as far as their worth in terms of being shared as Information is concerned the opportunity cost of writing it all out is less than the returns you or I would get from being able to read it at any given time. What was most important about Thanksgiving break was my return to a state of childlike wonder and adolescent sedentariness in the puffy white-gloved hands of Super Mario Galaxy. If you want to know how many hours over the course of 3 days I spent in front of the television with that remote in my hand I will not lie: more than twelve. Now, upon a successful return to the frigid reality of a semester at its close, and all the work and terror inherent within, the decision to guide a rotund plumber through space in lieu of making headway on a number of assignments might seem like a mistake. It wasn’t, though. I do not make those, and it was worth it, maybe.

*this joke not worth explaining if you aren’t already in on its subtle punch-lines

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Oh, What Do I Do?

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?

What do I do without you?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

My Drivers License Expires Today

That is okay though, because I have a valid passport and I haven't got a car. While some might envision me spending this day reveling in a warm oily ethanol embrace, the truth is much easier to imagine and much less likely to result in projectile vomit or the display of enthusiasm or candidness. I will open a package or two, I will hopefully cash a check. Instead of having people sing a terribly annoying song to me I'd much prefer to simply listen to this on repeat all day while trying to pick apart pieces of it to which I can relate. It's relevance is found primarily in its disputed title, but today I'm calling it "The Birthday Song."

And as always, happy birthday to my long-lost twin in Georgia.


Now, it would appear, I have everything I need.

[UPDATE cont'd]

That cigar was So Good. Also I now have an electric blanket, which means that my bed can now feel (in the best possible way) as though somebody has been sleeping in it for hours when I climb into it at night. Oh, and the guy at the liquor store didn't card me.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Here is That Oliver No. 5 You Asked About

It's going to take a lot of steel wool and chemicals to make it something worth looking at, and a short length of thick string to make it work correctly. You can't see it, but there's a painted logo of a chubby constable on the carriage that really ties the whole thing together. I guess if I'd been alive in the time of chubby-people-as-logos-for-things I'd be nostalgic for them. At this point all we have left are the Pilsbury Dough Boy and Bibendum

Can You Tell What This Is?

It's alright if you can't, it didn't turn out at all the way I'd envisioned it, and I am not particularly happy with it. Also, it's no fair if you already know what it is (this is maybe two of you?), so no guessing.

As an added bonus clicking the above image will reveal it in alarming every-hair-fiber-and-rubber-cement-tendril-are-visible kind of high resolution.

Anyway and also here's what happened in class on Friday:

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Here are This Weekend's Movie Reviews

American Gangster (2007)

American Gangster is long, but it is unapolagetically Rad. Denzel Washington gets upset and ruins the days of so many people, and gets inconceivably wealthy while doing so. Russel Crowe proves that Australian dudes with chubby faces can still convey expressions and talk American. Other people are also in the movie, but come on, Denzel Washington. The end.

note: I feel like this trailer gives away too many details and surprises of the movie, though this might only be apparent to me since I've already seen it

Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)
note: this movie took forever to get distribution, it is finally in theaters.

I will be honest with you: the only reason I am doing a weekend movie review is to talk about this movie. I felt like devoting an entire entry to just one film would be weird and excessive though, considering that this is a pan-genre-information-blog, not a movie blog. Regardless, here we are. I got to see this movie back in April, which is part of the reason I had been anxiously awaiting this weekend’s arrival. Listen: I love this movie so much that it’s unreasonable. I love this movie so much my eyes watered when it ended. They watered out of emotion. Do you have any idea what it takes for that to happen to me? Admitting that information triggers all kinds of nausea and shame responses in my brain and body. Now get out there and give all your money to this movie okay?

Easy Rider (1969)

Easy Rider is this weekend's classic movie up for review. I will admit that the primary reason I'd been interested in seeing it was the fact that one of the more awesome characters on Veronica Mars (a show whose cast of characters' excellence is already unrivaled) had a weird kind of obsession with the movie in question. After watching it I find myself confused by both what would appear to be an unforgivable character flaw in the previously-alluded to fictional person, and the seemingly inexplicable and widely-held belief that Easy Rider is a good and important movie. Mostly it's just two annoying guys riding around on motor cycles, getting high, and hanging out with hippies. Maybe this meant a lot during the summer of love, but now it's just a long string of poorly conveyed cliches. Oh well.

What is the Weather Doing Right Now #6

It is not raining. The weather is not raining anymore. All day long today it came down, cold and steady a sober Eskimo*. I woke up earlier than I would have liked, which is to say I woke up at all. This is all the fault of that defunct hurricane, an awareness of which I’d managed to avoid until sometime this afternoon. The weather today was not conducive to any kind of behavior not directly related to hibernation. Humans cannot hibernate, and caves are not feasible housing options in today’s pre-post-apocalyptic world, so the best we can do is pile as many layers of heat-retaining fabric atop mattresses as we can, put butter on everything, and hope for the best. So far this has proven to be at least semi-effective. It is 48 degrees outside, and since we refuse to turn the heat on (I would explain this, as it probably deserves to be clarified, but I won't) the temperature inside The Place can't be far from the outside world's.

In non-weather news my grandma sent me a tupperware container full of cookies in a birthday-related gesture. For the first time since this became a practice of hers (the onset of college) they arrived intact and softer than glass. Progress across the board I guess.

*this turn of phrase relies on the little known unstable Eskimo archetype, an archetype that has been proven false time and time again in many popular films, books, and Broadway musicals.