What Am I Up To?

Information Bullets:

• The basement has become a terrible place
• I started working at That Program
• New pants
• To Everyone who has been hassling me about what I want for my birthday, Here is your top priority, but don't worry - my hopes are not Up.
• Paul Newman is still Dead
• TV is a Thing again
  

Today is My Brother's Birthday

That is the main fact of today. Despite raised eyebrows from the small but vocal minority that remains skeptical of his existence, I sent him a brief and to-the-point email wishing him a good birthday. If you see my brother in the two hours that remain of his birthday please congratulate him. If you see him tomorrow tell him you are sorry to have missed his birthday but that you hope it went well. Thank you.

Soon: Information that pertains to You Personally.

My Drivers License Expires Today

That is okay though, because I have a valid passport and I haven't got a car. While some might envision me spending this day reveling in a warm oily ethanol embrace, the truth is much easier to imagine and much less likely to result in projectile vomit or the display of enthusiasm or candidness. I will open a package or two, I will hopefully cash a check. Instead of having people sing a terribly annoying song to me I'd much prefer to simply listen to this on repeat all day while trying to pick apart pieces of it to which I can relate. It's relevance is found primarily in its disputed title, but today I'm calling it "The Birthday Song."


And as always, happy birthday to my long-lost twin in Georgia.

[UPDATE]

Now, it would appear, I have everything I need.



[UPDATE cont'd]

That cigar was So Good. Also I now have an electric blanket, which means that my bed can now feel (in the best possible way) as though somebody has been sleeping in it for hours when I climb into it at night. Oh, and the guy at the liquor store didn't card me.

What is the Weather Doing Right Now #6

It is not raining. The weather is not raining anymore. All day long today it came down, cold and steady a sober Eskimo*. I woke up earlier than I would have liked, which is to say I woke up at all. This is all the fault of that defunct hurricane, an awareness of which I’d managed to avoid until sometime this afternoon. The weather today was not conducive to any kind of behavior not directly related to hibernation. Humans cannot hibernate, and caves are not feasible housing options in today’s pre-post-apocalyptic world, so the best we can do is pile as many layers of heat-retaining fabric atop mattresses as we can, put butter on everything, and hope for the best. So far this has proven to be at least semi-effective. It is 48 degrees outside, and since we refuse to turn the heat on (I would explain this, as it probably deserves to be clarified, but I won't) the temperature inside The Place can't be far from the outside world's.

In non-weather news my grandma sent me a tupperware container full of cookies in a birthday-related gesture. For the first time since this became a practice of hers (the onset of college) they arrived intact and softer than glass. Progress across the board I guess.




*this turn of phrase relies on the little known unstable Eskimo archetype, an archetype that has been proven false time and time again in many popular films, books, and Broadway musicals.