Friday, January 16, 2009

Operation Thermal Underwear is Under Way

Walking home from work today I realized that I don't carry out enough missions in my life. By "mission" I don't mean like, piling into a van with a bunch of my too-smiling friends and driving down to some country that sucks with the intention of digging a well and then putting up a 200 ft. tall cross right next to the well to Remind People about God or Whatever. I mean missions like carrying out objectives and Taking Care of Business. While walking it also occurred to me that long underwear would have been a fantastic addition to my outfit, because I couldn't feel my legs and the outside temperature made me wonder what walking on the surface of Neptune would be like (hint it would be impossible because your legs would break under your own weight).

Net Result: Operation Thermal Underwear (not to be confused with Operation Thunderbolt which is definitely Badassier).

  • Wear thermal underwear (pants and shirt)
  • Do not freeze to death anytime soon
  • Tell people how great the first objective is going for me (example: say to someone "I am wearing thermal underwear. It is going pretty great, trust me")
  • Really, seriously, honestly Do Not Freeze to Death.
I am going to make a little design for a button or something later on, to be awarded to people who survive the mission.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The First two-and-a-half Hours of 2009 - What you need to know

1) it is 2009 - this is important for reasons not worth going into here.
2) it is 8 degrees in the area where I am. Apparently when variables like wind and awfulness are factored in the outside world feels like -22 degrees. This is hard even to begin to understand, especially if you come from a time period or society that lacks the concept of negative numbers.
3) about 16,000 people worldwide have died since it became 2009 in the EST timezone.
4) I was wrong about a number of things in my predictive post regarding 2008. This included what the best movie of the year would be (I said Brothers Bloom which was pushed back until 2009 after first simply being delayed twice - shit, this year's best movie was, of course, Wall•E), the best video game (I guessed the most recent iteration of Smash Brothers when in fact it was Braid), and I was wrong about how I would abandon this blog - instead I just started that other one. What was I right about? I predicted we would elect a new president - check, and I was right about the best album.
5) That's about it