Why Am I Going to New York?

You might already know my general sentiments towards the Empire State's main city and its surrounding nebula of Paved Areas, and if that is the case you are probably surprised to find that I am returning to That Place, just as you might have been surprised the Last Time it Happened. If you don't, the previous link should illuminate things in harsh, harsh words. The question is obvious: why would I go back there?

The (approximately two) answers I have to that question are not good, so I will not share them with you, unless one of them turns out, over the course of the trip, to have been right enough to justify the minimal bus fare and maximum hassle involved with what's to come (regardless of how matters go I am guaranteed two cool things). Don't worry - I've packed everything I'll need: tooth paste, my Swiss Army knife, and twice as much money as a person ought to need to last 4 days in order to buy food and T-shirts that prove to strangers the fact that I've been somewhere. What's ultimately important is that I may or may not wind up have information about the journey to share with you in the form of one of my world-renown travelogues. You're welcome, in advance.

P.S.

Here is some Information about how I spent a fraction of my weekend.

Here is 2008

Author's note: It has been a while since I spent any significant amount of time crafting a New Year's Blog Entry. Please enjoy this afternoon's endeavors.



A lot of the internet is busy listing things from 2007: best-of lists, most important this or that’s, lists of authors who died, etc. Stuff like this is all well and good, and merits existence inasmuch as it makes it easy for amnesiacs and the absent-minded to review what it is that's happened since last January 1st, but they do very little in the way of preparing us for the upcoming year, and it’s always been this website's job to present some things that are urgent, and some that are not. Well, the future is urgent, and the past is not.


In the interest of preparedness I will go ahead and give you the main important information of the upcoming calendar year.

Best Movie:
The Brothers Bloom

Why will this movie be the best movie of 2008? A lot of reasons. The first is that Rian Johnson directed it. If you’ve been paying any attention to living your life you’ve already seen his first movie and spent a lot of time figuring out how the hell he accomplished this. Furthermore, The Brothers Bloom has Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo and Nora Zehetner (who, you might be interested to know, won a grammy for Best Shoulders in 2006, 2007 and will again win in 2008). Also, it is about con men.

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Best Album:
The Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride

A year from now all the music blogs and the seemingly-informed will be collecting their best of 2008 album lists, and there’s a good chance that this album won’t show up on those lists; this is because most (though by no means all) people who run sites of the aforementioned types are the kind of mistake-makers who put the lackluster, the lousy, and the downright annoying on their best-of lists this year. Why will Heretic Pride actually be the best album of 2008? Because it’s fucking awesome, that’s why.

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Best Video Game:
Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo Wii

This does not require an explanation. What’s more, I’m aware that, save for a few, the audience to whom I’m writing is not one that is particularly interested in video games. Those interested don’t need this choice explained to them, and those who aren’t don’t want to have to read about it.



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Other Things That Will Happen:

America Gets a New President (this doesn’t happen until November, but everyone seems pretty set on broadcasting every detail about the stuff that leads up to it starting last month. Some stuff has to happen before we even know who we’ll get to vote for, so don’t worry about it right now.)

NASA Sends Another Thing to the Moon or Whatever

California will have a natural disaster

I will get tired of doing this blog and abandon it

Now you know, plan accordingly. And you’re welcome.

My Drivers License Expires Today

That is okay though, because I have a valid passport and I haven't got a car. While some might envision me spending this day reveling in a warm oily ethanol embrace, the truth is much easier to imagine and much less likely to result in projectile vomit or the display of enthusiasm or candidness. I will open a package or two, I will hopefully cash a check. Instead of having people sing a terribly annoying song to me I'd much prefer to simply listen to this on repeat all day while trying to pick apart pieces of it to which I can relate. It's relevance is found primarily in its disputed title, but today I'm calling it "The Birthday Song."


And as always, happy birthday to my long-lost twin in Georgia.

[UPDATE]

Now, it would appear, I have everything I need.



[UPDATE cont'd]

That cigar was So Good. Also I now have an electric blanket, which means that my bed can now feel (in the best possible way) as though somebody has been sleeping in it for hours when I climb into it at night. Oh, and the guy at the liquor store didn't card me.