Imagination Station #1

Do you ever use your imagination? I do, and here's what happened when I did a few days ago.

What did I do this Afternoon?

Listen, before anybody hassles me about my lackluster blogging (we can’t all live fast-paced lives in the world of politics or start blogs about what we look at on screens), let me tell you what I accomplished today: I made a font out of my own handwriting. That’s right America, my handwriting is now a font.



So there.

Also, if you want it, I can email it to you. The hyphen doesn't work though, so, you know, that's an issue.

What Remarkable Thing did I Eat Today? (And other Remarkable Things That Happened)

Listen: I thought today would be just another normal day in my life (currently on day 7,966), and that nothing fantastic or remarkable or atypical would happen to or around me.

Not the case.

• First: I woke up like 4 times this morning before it was time for me to get out of bed - not typical
• Second: I ate breakfast - not typical
• Third: I got a real terrible sick feeling walking to work because I saw all the university’s incoming freshmen and their parents and cars and siblings and belongings creating a traffic disaster on campus - not typical (inasmuch as it is not typical to see incoming freshmen, it is very typical for such sights and many others to give me a terrible sick feeling)
• Fourth: I ate a Second Breakfast courtesy of one of my supervisors at the Media Center, and here is where the day gets remarkable (not the free food from a boss part - that happens basically weekly at this point).

Look at what I was given



Your first instinct, I imagine, is to recoil in disgust at the idea that someone would eat a hamburger for breakfast. Then, upon reflection, you might decide that this is some kind of a sausage biscuit, and while more breakfast-appropriate, the enormous size of the alleged meat patty would give anyone who isn’t a trucker a moment of pause. Listen: you are incorrect if you think the item in the above photograph is a hamburger, or a sausage biscuit, or anything that isn’t a doughnut inside another doughnut bun.

That’s right - A Doughnutburger.

There are probably some stuck up people who are not immediately enthralled by this idea on account of caring about Nutrition, or because they think that foods made to look like other foods aren’t awesome, or because they just don’t like doughnuts very much. This time, those people are Wrong about what is Awesome, and I’d be willing to bet they’re wrong most other times as well. This is, without hyperbole, the most important food-related thing that has happened to me since that time I went to this restaurant.

Will other important things happen today?

What did We Find at the Airport?

It is too much for words, so I am not going to try to use them to describe the majesty. Please, behold:








Alright, take a moment to really absorb what's depicted above.

Okay. There are a number things worth noting, and a few questions:

• A cactus with sunglasses appears on every completed page
• The cactus with sunglasses is not the narrator
• The credited author is Willowbelly Conbreast. Willowbelly Conbreast!
• The Gliding Spider Wheelchair: organic or not?
• While obviously incomplete, the book is stapled and numbers 30 pages
• What is the significance of the Canoe Ride?
• In the first non-cover illustration the narrator appears to be holding open his coat, which contains scissors, a hammer, and an unidentified object that could be either wrenches or a plasma lamp.

I encourage any and all readers to share their thoughts/speculations/reactions about/regarding/to this remarkable find. Thank you. YOU'RE WELCOME


p.s. - or - I can't stop thinking about this.

We googled everything in this text - Willowbelly Conbreast, gliding-spider-wheelchairs, hidden shows at bonfires, Eh·o'nites, canoe ride uncertainty - all to no avail. We picked apart every page looking for clues, debating aspects of every illustration, and questioning the motives and reliability of our narrator. I know that this story has remarkable potential, and I hope that by some internet miracle we are able to establish contact with Mr. or Ms Conbreast. If such hopes go unfulfilled, however, can I in good conscience continue what has been started?

Opinon Poll: Do you Hate This or Not?

This is a logo I made at the request of my dad, who, as you may already know/have made jokes about, is a urologist. Does it make sense to you? Do you see What I Did There?


P.S. Here is a logo for a pretend soda that doesn't exist (yet).

Can You Tell What This Is?

It's alright if you can't, it didn't turn out at all the way I'd envisioned it, and I am not particularly happy with it. Also, it's no fair if you already know what it is (this is maybe two of you?), so no guessing.

As an added bonus clicking the above image will reveal it in alarming every-hair-fiber-and-rubber-cement-tendril-are-visible kind of high resolution.

Anyway and also here's what happened in class on Friday: