It Is Black Friday

Which means that many of you (well, not you, because if you're reading this site then you've got some sense and know not to go out into terrible locations on the biggest shopping day of the year) are getting all caught up in the raging, stabbing, hateful spirit of kicking in doors and buying the everloving hell out of anything stacked up near a checkout counter. It also means that you are officially in the market to buy me (yes, me, this is my site and you are reading it which means you must have some vested interest in my happiness, a happiness best fed by material possesions) what I want, be it for Christmas or otherwise.

Now, I know I rarely make it easy for those in your position, and this year will be no exception, mostly because I hate to break tradition. So, to those looking to curry favor, this is your charge*.

Be aware: You will likely be competing with a legion (more accuately: a handful) of collector-types, a couple of whom might have grown-up incomes. You will also be competing with me, a person who is not above sniping ebay auctions and who is selfish enough to spend more on himself than on you during this terrible holiday season.

Oh, and if you're feeling really ambitious there's also this and this and this.






*Listen: I do not actually expect to get this - I know how auctions like these turn out , frequently it gets ugly and staggering and depressing, at least when you are the guy who does not win. This post should mostly succeed in getting across my views on Black Friday, as well as serving as a permanent "Do not" to people who say things like "you never tell me/us/anyone what you want and blah blah blah," not as an official or functional guide to what I want for Christmas.

It is Fathers' Day

So here:

What Went Wrong this Easter?

I will tell you: I did not eat a single Cadbury brand Creme Egg this Easter season of 2008. This is not for want of trying or lack of opportunity - I visited two CVS stores today (Sunday) and one the previous day, but all searches of their shelves proved fruitless*. I would have gone to a Grocery store or a more Reputable Confectionery had I the time, but I was busy being a human being who doesn't expect to have to buy his God Damn Easter Candy in Advance I'm Sorry. Would that I could raze this city to the ground for this (as I see it) slight against The Lord's Tradition, but I know in my hollow heart-cavity of hollow heart-cavities that the machinations of this catastrophe were of my own design, and that is the bitterest egg of all to have to swallow.




*I did find a few Cadbury Orange Creme Eggs, which is a lot like coming home from sleep-away camp to find that, in your absence, your whole family has packed up and moved away, leaving only a note on the front door that reads "sorry," and on the back of which is written "that nobody will ever fucking love you for as long as you disgrace the planet with breath in your lungs."