Let Me Tell You One of Today's Frustrations

Why is it that I’m unable to find a damn place to buy the simple liquid known as cherry limeade? Everybody knows that this is the most delicious thing to drink, but inexplicably nobody will give me a large cup with ice, a straw, limejuice, water, sugar, and cherry syrup in solution form. I can’t walk two feet without passing some sprout-slinging, vegan-friendly "add wheat germ to your smoothie for only three dollars more" coffeeshop café/bookstore/solarium/pet salon, yet I can’t find fucking limeade with fucking cherry in it? The Northeast talks shit on the Midwest left and right but it is still somehow unable to provide me with a very basic staple. What The Hell Is This? Why can’t I just find a Regular Place* that Doesn’t Want to Fuck With Me and Make Me Miserable?


*Feel free to substitute any other relevant noun in this sentence in order to reveal more sentiments I have.