Here are This Weekend's Movie Reviews

American Gangster (2007)

American Gangster is long, but it is unapolagetically Rad. Denzel Washington gets upset and ruins the days of so many people, and gets inconceivably wealthy while doing so. Russel Crowe proves that Australian dudes with chubby faces can still convey expressions and talk American. Other people are also in the movie, but come on, Denzel Washington. The end.

note: I feel like this trailer gives away too many details and surprises of the movie, though this might only be apparent to me since I've already seen it

Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)
note: this movie took forever to get distribution, it is finally in theaters.

I will be honest with you: the only reason I am doing a weekend movie review is to talk about this movie. I felt like devoting an entire entry to just one film would be weird and excessive though, considering that this is a pan-genre-information-blog, not a movie blog. Regardless, here we are. I got to see this movie back in April, which is part of the reason I had been anxiously awaiting this weekend’s arrival. Listen: I love this movie so much that it’s unreasonable. I love this movie so much my eyes watered when it ended. They watered out of emotion. Do you have any idea what it takes for that to happen to me? Admitting that information triggers all kinds of nausea and shame responses in my brain and body. Now get out there and give all your money to this movie okay?

Easy Rider (1969)

Easy Rider is this weekend's classic movie up for review. I will admit that the primary reason I'd been interested in seeing it was the fact that one of the more awesome characters on Veronica Mars (a show whose cast of characters' excellence is already unrivaled) had a weird kind of obsession with the movie in question. After watching it I find myself confused by both what would appear to be an unforgivable character flaw in the previously-alluded to fictional person, and the seemingly inexplicable and widely-held belief that Easy Rider is a good and important movie. Mostly it's just two annoying guys riding around on motor cycles, getting high, and hanging out with hippies. Maybe this meant a lot during the summer of love, but now it's just a long string of poorly conveyed cliches. Oh well.

Here are This Weekend's Movie Reviews

(movie posters link to previews)

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

This movie’s title is so long, it’s insane. It’s as though this movie took its naming conventions from today’s frustratingly/unsurprisingly assholeish indie music scene, where every band’s name is like three lines long or else consists of just punctuation marks. This is not relevant to the quality of the film. How was this movie: Long. Also, slow (though “deliberate” is probably a nicer and more accurate way to describe it). Also, gorgeous. Conclusion about this movie: Casey Affleck is much better than his brother, and rumors that Brad Pitt’s D would appear in this film are false. It is entirely D-less. This movie is a "should-watch."

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

This movie answers the question “What has Wes Anderson been up to since he was in that American Express commercial?” It also answers the question “Can Wes Anderson make a buddy/road (train)/Wes Anderson movie?” The answer to the first question is “Hotel Chevalier,” and the answer to the second question is “yes.” Conclusion about this movie: Adrien Brody is the best person to have been banned from SNL. This movie is a “should watch 3 times in a week and-a-half and should haul one’s ass to Harvard Square at all hours of the morning and evening in hopes of getting passes to the Brattle’s screening, the one that Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman will be attending but god dammit they (the passes) are impossible to get.”

Any Which Way you Can (1980)

I am going to be honest with you here: if you have already seen "Every Which Way but Loose" (1978) you do not need to see "Any Which Way you Can." While the capers of Clint Eastwood and the orangutan Clyde are heartwarming and all, I really couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to accept the idea that the Nazi bikers would be able to set aside their grudge with Eastwood's character long enough to beat the living hell out of a bunch of sleazy New York mafioso guys. This movie is a "watch the original, or, if the original is not available, "Smokey and the Bandit" instead."